Washing Cars: Give Her Time

Last month, Pamela and Steve washed the car so Steve could try his hand at guided participation. They did this before Steve's week-long trip to Santiago and other busy-ness. The point of making videos is to watch them so that you can learn more about your relationship dynamics. This week, I pinned him down long enough to watch the two clips and make observations! We first read over the Powerpoint presentation about making videos that our consultant emailed last week. It is important to focus on the objective and make sure you edit it down to less than five minutes of all of the key points in the interaction. I tend to go over five minutes being the long-winded person I am!

Steve is your typical, type A, complete-everything-on-my-to-do-list guy. He runs circles around everyone and my dad calls him Whirlwind. He loves running so much that he even finishes marathons! So, when our consultant tells him to slow down to Pamela's pace, it requires a monumental effort.

Steve's Phrase: "Give her time!"

His Objective: I need to slow down in an activity that she could follow me successfully.

Overall Impression: Pamela is a great follower! She did really well.

Mastery: I did slow down more than usual. I could have been more nonverbal. I spent too much time describing. I need to say what the problem is and not tell her what to do. Rather than say, "Get more soap," I could say, "Your rag isn't very soapy anymore."

What Worked: I found ways to help her be more successful in the moment (switching hoses, giving her rags to carry instead of the bucket, etc.). The water fight was great!

What did not work: I am better about avoiding questions and prompts. But, I need to work on the commands.

Comments: I can see how watching the video reveals more detail than I recall from the interaction.