Flexible Thinking in How We Help Spectrum Students

Last year, I blogged a bit about a "Harvester" with autism who enjoys gardening. (Harvest is a Charlotte Mason style school where Pamela and I hang out.) We have several spectrum students in our school, and they are all so different. As the saying goes, if you've met one person with autism, then you've met only one person with autism. We have one boy who "missed" a lot of classroom time last year because he was on a very difficult journey from learning to co-regulate (master his reactions with the help of someone) to self-regulate (know when to excuse himself or ask a teacher to help him deal with a stressful situation). This year, he's learned the lesson so well that he's never out of class. Point One: Sometimes, taking a huge step back fosters a huge leap forward!

Another spectrum Harvester came to us last year from a self-contained classroom, labeled as nonverbal. His real issue is slow processing. When we gave him time to process, he talked. Once he realized that we would wait for him, he began to talk more and more and more, a little bit faster, a little bit faster, and a little bit faster. After the morning meeting, he needs time to eat a snack and burn off energy. Then, he is ready to join his peers for class. He works all day in class at his own level. He goes through an occasional giddy spell and has to leave class until he gets a grip. Point Two: Sometimes, labels are not accurate.

Here is the update on Eman, who could only handle an hour at school just over a year ago and who now stays all day and after school to play with friends. Last year, our goal was for him to work up to a full day at school. While he made it through most days, he left at lunch whenever he had a tough morning. Some mornings were tough, and I believe one issue was that he knew he had an out. His mother assisted the primary class teacher in the morning and went home for lunch. In the back of his mind, he knew he could go home if he acted up enough. Point Three: Some behaviors are deliberate, and they are the trickiest to figure out.

The good news is that we have figured it out. Over the summer, his mother chatted with him from time to time about having to stay all day. Why? This talented lady has joined us as the primary class teacher! The first term he stayed all day, but some days were very tough. Eman is wonderful and, when fully regulated, he is a delight. He gets excited about a story; he stays very engaged; he begs to help. The day we planted seeds in the winter garden he had a hard time taking turns because he wanted to do everything. When he notebooked the garden, he drew his dream garden which included a fountain and a hot tub. He has a big heart and a big imagination. Point Four: Every child, however challenging, has good qualities!

What was the trick? Eman is easily bored, but he needs some structure. Spending all day, in the same class, with the same kids, with the same teacher was a little too much sameness for him. His mother and our headmaster brainstormed a new schedule that gives him variety within a routine. He joins the morning meeting for the devotion, pledge, song, habit talk, and Spanish and then he has a snack. Low blood sugar can ruin a day for him. Then, he goes to the headmaster for independent work: listening to an audio book, notebooking it, and map work. Then, he joins Pamela and I for literature: we practice the fighter verse of the week, read a poem, read from two different literature books, and prepare for Shakespeare on Thursday. Then, he goes to his mom's room for math and heads to lunch. After lunch, he goes to recess and comes back in for copywork. Then, he and Pamela join the junior high in the big room for history and science in the afternoon. I am teaching that class so the junior high teacher can continue to build a solid relationship with him because he will spend several years in her class. Point Five: In spite of what many believe, rigid routine does not help autistic children.

How have things been going for Eman? Surprisingly well. He's only had two tough days all term. On one day, he tested us and realized that he prefers choosing to do the right thing even though he does not always feel like it. The other day was a combination of a cold and a death in the extended family.

RDA 3: Dad Onboard with RDI

Pamela and our consultant made this beautiful mirror during their session yesterday. To wrap up RDA segment one from yesterday, Steve and Pamela worked together. I watched them on television, and they blew me away. Steve has never gone nonverbal with Pamela, and I was so amazed at how well he played, made things up, and hung out with Pamela. Another fascinating tidbit popped off the screen. Pamela works so hard when she speaks because of her aphasia (the consultant, an SLP in a former life, completely agrees with what I have thought along: aphasia, but not apraxia). She feels so incompetent with her verbal skills that Pamela and Steve fell into rigid, static conversations (maps, highways, calendars, and any topic in which she excels). If you try to get her off the Pamela Express, Pamela gets annoyed. However, when Pamela and Steve went nonverbal, her interactions were so beautiful, expressive, fluid, dynamic, go with the flow. In fact, you would not see autism right away when she is nonverbal.

Yesterday, Pamela and I made this picture by putting paint in the middle of a piece of paper, folding it in half, and squishing it. We agreed it looked like flowers in a vase. After Steve and Pamela finished their session, we sat down with the consultant for RDA segment three. She gave us a great overview of RDI, comparing the behaviorists approach versus the developmentalists approach, covered the five core deficits, explained how the operating system is set up, compared parent objectives versus child objectives, etc. Steve finally saw how the scattered pieces of what I have been doing for years on instinct have enabled Pamela to come as far as she has. The consultant told him that Pamela was the first client to arrive in her practice with apprenticeship and co-regulation nailed in place.

One thing that blew Steve away was how scattered Pamela is in her development. He did not realize that Pamela's savant skills with calendars and her ability to work at a sixth grade level were purely static thinking. He was shocked to hear that stage two represents the relationship skills of children between the ages of 18 months and 24 months! I expected this (actually expected a younger age). Her dynamic abilities shoot up when she is nonverbal; but, when she is verbal, she goes very static and rigid.

Our consultant impressed me with her ability to uncover Pamela's strengths and weaknesses. She definitely knows autism inside and out!!!!!! She helped me put into perspective how various things I did on instinct helped Pamela become an apprentice and co-regulate. I cannot emphasize enough how well she did with co-regulation, especially when going nonverbal.

Her co-regulation breaks down a bit when verbal because she falls into static routines. Steve and I experimented with getting off the Pamela Express at lunch. She tried to loop us into one of her rigid conversations. First, she hit up Steve and he stayed off the train by speaking declaratively about other topics. Then, she turned to me and I was more emotional. I would pout and say, "I'm tired of talking about highways. I want to talk about what we are ordering for lunch." When I failed her, she went back to Steve, even poking him, which gave us another topic. "That hurts! I don't like getting poked." She tried about five or six times and finally stopped pestering. Then, I made faces and did some nonverbal interactions to get her thinking nonverbally. She relaxed and went with the flow in her verbal exchanges.

We need to work hard on separating Pamela's awareness of self with her awareness of others. She tends to apply everyone's conversation to herself. So, when her aunt talked about her parents planning to sell their house, Pamela yelled, "Don't sell the house." So, I pointed to Brenda and explained, "Aunt Brenda's mom and dad are selling their house." Then, I pointed to myself, "Daddy and I are keeping our house." I have a hunch this technique will be a great way to separate self from others during conversations.

The consultant gave me some clear directions on what I need to do in the next two weeks: blitz and film some interaction patterns to fall back on when Pamela becomes unglued, figure out what objectives need work (both parent and child), pick a parent and child objective of interest, etc. Steve will be doing one e-learning assignment at a time to get up to speed. While I am doing the bulk of the work, he will go with the flow with me more easily once he understands RDI more.

Here is the second squish picture we made yesterday. It started out as a hamburger with mustard but it looks like what ends up on a diaper.

We still have three more segments of the RDA left but will be doing them nonverbally over the next couple of weeks.