What Humility Has to Do with Autism

Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. ~ Lord Acton

Some friends and I were commenting on an article which states that people in power are less sensitive to social cues. "Studies have repeatedly shown that participants who are in high positions of power (or who are temporarily induced to feel powerful) are less able to adopt the visual, cognitive or emotional perspective of other people, compared to participants who are powerless (or are made to feel so)."

People in power are less able to mirror the emotions of others. It explains why politicians seem out of touch the longer they stay in Washington. Why the people who suffered at the hands of the monarchy and the czars committed cruel acts after they won revolutions. "When people experience power, their brains fundamentally change how sensitive they are to the actions of others." It causes me to appreciate people like George Washington: the people would have given him honors, titles, rank, and lavishness worthy of a king, but he remained humble. He went back to farming after his eight years in office ended.

If you have a special needs child in your life, this article becomes personal! The world views our children as weak — less than human. Their vulnerability makes others feel powerful. A friend's husband is in a wheelchair due to a recent accident. Although she works with special needs students, she didn't understand what it's like until now. People don't look her husband in the eye: he's beneath them. He communicates well, yet one waitress didn't leave a bill until my friend had returned from the bathroom.

Even in fleeting encounters, power lowers resonance with social cues. "For those participants who were induced to experience feelings of power, their brains showed virtually no resonance with the actions of others; conversely, for those participants who were induced to experience feelings of powerlessness, their brains resonated quite a bit. In short, the brains of powerful people didn't mirror the actions of other people."

Whether we are parent, teacher, or therapist, power can go to our head, especially when a task is vital. For me, that hot button was potty training because diapers shut down many opportunities. Pamela was six years old and still in pull-ups. No matter how often we headed her to the bathroom, she never realized it was time to go. Fortunately, I had read that a benefit of a gfcf diet was improved bladder control. I quit potty training until we started homeschooling Pamela and took her off certain foods. Fortunately, I had never pushed Pamela to the point of causing me to regret my actions. Had I not known about food connection, it could have happened.

Certain kinds of therapy puts the adult into a powerful role. Think about what a person might do to a child, even a well-intentioned adult who only wants the best for that child, might do because of the power differential. Even an intelligent, loving adult might overstep boundaries because power has shut down the mirror neurons that promote empathy. We know what can happen when a low-verbal or non-verbal child is put in the hands of someone with too much power. We see the awful stories on the news all the time!

I prefer Relationship Development Intervention and Charlotte Mason because adults are viewed as encouragers and guides. Children are valued for who they are, whether they are brilliant or a bit delayed or far, far "behind." In this "must-see" video on being the father of someone with autism and apraxia, Matt Oakes put our roles as parents and teachers very well.

"I don't think it's my job to force Liam to be the kind of kid, the kind of person that I want him to be. It's our job as parents, it's my job as his dad, to help him find who he is."

"Is." Not "will be."

"A child is a born person." ~ Charlotte Mason

The view of ourselves as persons in authority must be accurate as well. Matt appreciates the importance of humility.

"Instead of being this sort of superhero for their kids, I think that a good dad is someone who just humbles himself in front of their kids and finds ways to reach to their kid where they are and say I see you and I love you."

"I think to help kids unlock who they are you have to realize as a dad, as a parent, that it's really not about you. But, to make it about the kid, you have to be vulnerable and you have to be humble. You have to let that stuff go."

Mason cautioned us about our view of ourselves in this way, "Our deadly error is to suppose that we are his showman to the universe; and, not only so, but that there is no community at all between child and universe unless such as we choose to set up." She kicks this view of humility up a notch by recognizing authority properly.

"When we learn to realise that––God is, Self is, the World is, with all that these existences imply, quite untouched by any thinking of ours, unprovable, and self-proven,––why, we are at once put into a more humble attitude of mind. We recognise that above us, about us, within us, there are "more things . . . than are dreamt of in our philosophy." We realise ourselves as persons, we have a local habitation, and we live and move and have our being in and under a supreme authority." ~ Charlotte Mason

Humbling ourselves forces us to trust in the Teacher, the Holy Spirit, to work in our children what we cannot do. Like Matt said, our role is not to force our children to be what we want them to be. Only the Holy Spirit knows who they are. In our humility, we can help them find out. Since God already knows, the more we trust Him, the less we get in the way.

"When we recognise that God does not make over the bringing up of children absolutely even to their parents, but that He works Himself, in ways which it must be our care not to hinder, in the training of every child, then we shall learn passiveness, humble and wise. We shall give children space to develop on the lines of their own characters in all right ways, and shall know how to intervene effectually to prevent those errors which, also, are proper to their individual characters." ~ Charlotte Mason

I attended two Charlotte Mason retreats in the past two weeks. Clockwise invited me to assume a humble posture, that of a child, where we immersed ourselves in a typical school day. Living Education Retreat gave me three verses on humility:

"Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'" 1 Peter 5:5

"Rather, let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves." Luke 22:26

"At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, 'Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?' And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, 'Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" Matthew 18:1-4

Delight in the Lord

Last October, I recapped my efforts at helping children find awe and wonder in the Bible in our church's afterschool program. Our goal was to read the Book of Daniel together. We will start chapter nine next week and are on track to finish the entire book by the end of the school. Over the past couple of months, our group has grown from last year's nine students to this year's twelve, sometimes fourteen. New pupils have folded into the group seamlessly, which amazes me since a Charlotte Mason style of learning is so different. I continue to follow the method described in this post on Bible study.

Very rarely do we have an "off" day. These children are high-energy, and some have labels which means nothing to me because they are all persons first! We do everything we can to let them burn off steam through free play and snack time before lessons begin. Our rhythm of song time and prayers usually settles them down for the Bible lesson. Last week, two new pupils came and the rest, even those who have been coming for years, had a bad case of spring fever. A couple of students were talking, a few looked half asleep, and the others struggled to focus on the text. Instead of slogging through the reading and encouraging more inattentiveness, I cut it short and we shifted to the craft.

I brooded and pondered about what I should do. While I assumed it was a one-time incident, I did not want to let one "off" day lead to more "off" days and eventually the habit of inattention. I also wanted to avoid relying on lectures, artificial rewards, or token systems to encourage better behavior. As pointed out in the New York Times article "Train a Parent, Spare a Child", "offering short-term incentives to elicit behavior is unreliable, ineffective and causes 'considerable long-term damage.'" Why? Once the reward is removed, the desired behavior disappears. I agree with Charlotte Mason's belief that such measures turn children into pawns in a game. She wrote, "Our crying need today is less for a better method of education than for an adequate conception of children,––children, merely as human beings, whether brilliant or dull, precocious or backward" (Page 80).

Not only did she avoid direct manipulation of behavior, Mason had concerns about indirect ways of trampling upon the dignity of a child. Clearly, we all agree upon the dangers of influencing children through fear. What about love and approval from a teacher? Surely, a positive emotion cannot be harmful? The admiration of a teacher often leads to lessons learned, proper behavior, good will, and the development of virtues. But, what happens when the teacher is no longer in the life of the student? Because these positive reactions depend upon an outside influence, ground gained may be lost. What determines lifelong character is ideas that live inside children and inspire them. If nothing has been done to sow ideas that make acts worthwhile, then we undermine their ability to act independently.

The article on parent training offers lame advice: make sure children understand why what you're asking them to do is important, show interest in their point of view, and admit that it is really not but give them a reason why they should do it anyway. Oh, yeah, if you can reward them after the fact, sparingly, preferably something that the child picks (money, treats, or quality time). Blah, blah, blah!

Mason discounted suggestion, persistent influence, emulation, etc. What is left? Letting children fall into slipshod habits may be the greater of two evils. The answer lies within the student. "The work of education is greatly simplified when we realize that children, apparently all children, want to know all human knowledge; they have an appetite for what is put before them, and, knowing this, our teaching becomes buoyant with the courage of our convictions" (Pages 89-90).

I began to realize that spreading a feast of awe and wonder every week had sharpened their appetite for knowledge of Daniel. They desired to know; they had proved to me their habit of attention. However, they needed to take responsibility for managing it.

Then, I began to think about the reason why I study the Bible and how the brain stores memory. Those two big ideas lead to my plan, which worked like a charm!

Before the Bible lesson, I explained to them that Daniel had lived six hundred years before Jesus was born as a man. Since Jesus was born two thousand years ago, the book of Daniel was written about twenty-six hundred years ago. Their eyes grew wide. I added, "That means God kept the book of Daniel safe for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years—just so we could read it." I asked them, "Why do you think God protected this book all of these years?"—which lead to a wonderful conversation. Some of the kids enjoy writing notes on the dry-erase board after we do our craft. I just love this reflection:



Once they realized how precious this book was, I explained to them how memory works. When I asked if anyone had ever made paper chains for Christmas trees, hands flew up. I explained that the mind links together memories just like we make paper chains. "The reason why we talk about what we learned last week is so that our brain know where to put the next link. Every time we read the next part of Daniel, our chain of memory grows longer." We talked about what happens if we miss a week or if we are not paying attention. Our chain will have a broken link. Eying the strips of paper lying on the table, one of the boys asked, "Mrs. Tammy, can we make some chains about Daniel?" Before the reading, the kids drew what they remembered about the sheep and the goat. After the reading, all but two drew more links for their chain. One added links for the previous dreams. Another asked if we could do this every week.

I love how Leslie Laurio paraphrased Mason's conclusion to this chapter.

Knowledge for its own sake is pleasing because it's so fulfilling. When you see evidence that a student in your class shares your delight in knowing, and shares your pleasure in expressing what he knows, and shares your affinity for some wise philosopher or brave hero, you both connect and share a kind of bond. A student who has that kind of satisfaction from learning is less likely to have a compulsive need to be better than everyone else.

Feeling Pressed for Time?

We all have busy lives for one reason or another and often feel pressed for time. I understand the feeling. Random events conspire to steal time when the clock is ticking. Steve is coming home for a visit, and precious minutes this morning were spent cleaning up a shattered pyrex bowl. Oh, yeah, and our lone dog has thrown up twice and now has left a little present that lacks its usual form. At least, she was nowhere near a carpet. So, now, on top of all the other cleaning, I have the worst kind of mess to remove and disinfect.

Charlotte Mason suggests we should change our thoughts when anxiety strikes.

Change your thoughts? Really? Have you seen my floor?

Before running off to do the dreaded task, I crank up Handel's Messiah. Thanks to an intriguing video about feeling short on time, I realize my problem is not the lack of time. Rather, it is the lack of awe. What better way to restore my sense of awe than to hear a masterpiece?

Melanie Rudd, who wrote her dissertation on time perception, explains that experiencing awe makes you feel like you have more time available and "makes you feel more rich in time." She and two other researchers conducted three experiments and concluded that people who experience a strong sense of awe felt like they had more free time, were less impatient, were more willing to spend time to help others, sought experiences over material goods, and were more satisfied by life.

What is awe? They defined awe as a powerful positive emotion which arises from encountering something so vast and large that it causes a person to seek more knowledge and understanding. They offered examples of situations that produce awe: thunderstorms, childbirth, and the Grand Canyon. They suspect that awe helps people savor the present. It harnesses the power of living in the moment and focuses attention on what is unfolding.

What conditions produced a sense of awe in their experiments? Reading a brief story. Reliving a memory. Handel's Messiah unfolds the greatest story ever told from beginning to end. Hearing Messiah triggers many wonderful memories: singing it at my alma mater, going to The Middletown Tavern afterwards with friends for cheesecake, and introducing it to my children when they were young. Messiah led me to other great choral works! Pamela requested it for our composer study for the first term, and she has already experienced a moment of awe. Intense stretches of music in the overture swept her away, and she smiled and clapped in time for a couple of bars.

Rudd describes two defining characteristics of awe: the event must create a sense of perceptual vastness—something large, complex, intricate (and Messiah is certainly that). It must also inspire a person to seek more knowledge to help one interpret and understand the world.

Some days, I feel like there is not enough time to pack in homeschooling plus all that other stuff. I feel pressed and I feel like I am dropping some forgotten ball somewhere. Somehow, things always get done. And, yet, Pamela often remarks about a homeschooling block of time, "That was fast!"

I think how we explore our great abundance and variety of books and things creates a sense of time flying. Short lessons that offer many diverse ideas means we have more opportunities to experience awe! Those moments of awe cause the mind to reason, imagine, reflect, and judge. Mason wrote, "History must afford its pageants, science its wonders, literature its intimacies, philosophy its speculations, religion its assurances to every man, and his education must have prepared him for wanderings in these realms of gold."

Pamela and I wander in these realms of gold every day! After reading about trade and London, Pamela brightened up when she recalled that we ordered our doorbell of our Edwardian era house from London. To provide background knowledge for a biography about Michael Faraday, we are studying electricity. When we played with a balloon, comb, and hole-puncher chads, seeing the power of static electricity made Pamela gasp and say, "Wow!" several times. The first chapter of The Yearling describes scenery very much like our own, and, after reading about the construction of a flutter wheel from sticks and palmetto fronds—readily available here in Carolina—I looked for pictures of one on my Nook. The illustration of Jody's flutter mill by none other than N. C. Wyeth created a sense of awe in me, and I am looking forward to building one with Pamela when the weather is more tolerable.

Do you experience glimmers of awe during your day?

Do you feel pressed for time?

Don't run to your calendar or to-do-list and find a better way to slice up your day. Go out and find some awe!

"I Need to Be Inspired"

Every Wednesday afternoon, I get to enjoy "the delightful commerce of equal minds" with first through third graders in our church afterschool program. In a blogpost for ChildLightUSA last summer, I described how children outside a Mason paradigm can learn to embrace the science of relations. In that post, I voiced a hope that we could transition to reading from the Bible, line by line, so that they could directly connect to God through His word. In September, we started the first verse of Mark's Gospel and, next week, we will finish the fifth chapter of Mark. Every Wednesday, I leave inspired by watching children read passages straight from the New Testament and ask questions like "Why did Jesus send the spirits into the pigs?" "How could Jesus sleep through a storm?" "Why do the lawyers want to kill Jesus? He's healing people!" "Why did Jesus tell the leper he couldn't talk about how he was healed?"

I love their questions and often give them time to try to answer them on their own. Sometimes, I have no answer and we continue to ponder from week to week. Their insight stuns me.

To give them a sense of place in which Jesus ministered, I drew a map and add new places to it when we read about them. One day, the children asked how the Dead Sea got its name. The next week I showed them pictures of people floating in it, and we applied trial and error to figure out how many tablespoons of salt would make a boiled egg float in water. When we read about the fishermen, I found pictures of the first century A.D. fishing boat revealed during a drought near the Sea of Galilee in 1986. When we read about the healing of the paralyzed man in Peter's house, I showed them pictures of the archealogical digs in Capernaum.

We read from a verse-by-verse translation designed for children with its clear language and storyboarded illustrations. I encourage curiosity by weaving it into our class activity. The picture of the parable of the new wine in new wineskins grossed them out. "Why are those people stepping on grapes?" I researched winemaking and answered their questions the following week. We explored a cousin of the winemaking yeast (Baker's yeast), so they could see the temperature and food needs of yeast. The children marveled at the bubbles released once we properly activated the yeast, and one little girl commented, "That smell reminds me of dance class!" One little boy narrated to his mother what one should and should not do with yeast when she came to pick him up. The following week, we made bread and some children kneaded for the first time in their lives. One little girl told me, "I asked my mother if I can have some pet yeast." Before they left that day, I showed them how much it had risen. I froze the dough and the week after that they made rolls.

Since I avoid worksheets and contrived activities explicitly connected to the lesson, I try to help them learn about God through His world. One week I brought my bird for the children to study and draw. Another week I brought a dead sad underwing moth and a dead swallowtail. Sometimes, the children draw what I have planned, but at other times they draw what inspires them. One boy brought in a book about Mozart (one of those twaddly series books) and I happened to have my classical CDs with me. I played the overture to the Magic Flute as well as other music by "Wolfie." He ended up drawing his own magic flute that day. I always have some yarn on hand to teach anyone interested finger-knitting. One of the teenagers who volunteers to help the children with their homework asked to learn. The following Sunday, my son came home from church wearing a hot pink scarf made by finger-knitting three scarves and braiding them together.

One child in particular excels in the "friction of wills." Rather than forcing total compliance, we offer several options: do the activity or something with the materials on hand, help a classmate, or quietly watch. We have learned that this child will seem reluctant at first and, when allowed to make the choice to join us, will participate with great gusto. One day, our church secretary loaned me some mounted insects she had purchased from Ben the Butterfly Guy. Ben, who lives in Peru, pays friends and families to gather dead butterflies for him to sell. By making butterflies an economic resource, people have the incentive to care for the eco-system that sustains them. I knew my class would love observing and drawing these ginormous insects!

As usual, our strong-willed student was adamant about wanting to do homework to maximize playtime. We stuck to the game plan we always use: do, help, or watch. One by one, I pulled out an insect and walked around the room for each student to get a close look. Then, I set them in different spots around the table so they could get out materials (watercolor or markers) and draw or paint whateve caught their eye. At the sight of the pink-winged grasshopper, the eyes of our headstrong kiddo nearly popped. We heard "I have to draw that grasshopper" and twenty minutes of steady concentration yielded a colorful and accurate drawing. The child was quite pleased with the results and could not wait to show the family.

Later, we gently chided the child. "Look at you! You wanted to do homework and look how much you enjoyed drawing your grasshopper." The child smiled and talked about all the details that generated the most interest and thoughtfully concluded, "I need to be inspired."

What a revelation and insight into the mind!

Had we turned the "friction of wills" into a "battle of wills" our friend might have never made such important self-discovery. We would have missed the chance to learn how best to appeal to our friend's mind with inspiration rather than harassment. What an important lesson on personhood for us all!

We as teachers depreciate ourselves and our office; we do not realise that in the nature of things the teacher has a prophetic power of appeal and inspiration, that his part is not the weariful task of spoon-feeding with pap-meat, but the delightful commerce of equal minds where his is the part of guide, philosopher and friend. The friction of wills which makes school work harassing ceases to a surprising degree when we deal with the children, mind to mind, through the medium of knowledge. (Pages 237-238)

Pictures of the Critters:
Giant Brown Grasshopper (Tropidacris dux)



Pink-winged Butterfly (Lophacris cristata)



Owl Eyes Butterfly (Caligo memnon)





Pamela's Nature Notebook Entries:

The NEA's Bassackward View of Homeschooling

The NEA supposedly believes that "every child in America, regardless of family income or place of residence, deserves a quality education." They pursue their mission by "improving the quality of teaching, increasing student achievement and making schools safer, better places to learn". I see nothing inherently wrong about their vision of "a great public school for every student." I find it noble that they desire to "to fulfill the promise of public education to prepare every student to succeed in a diverse and interdependent world." In fact, since my tax dollars support public education, I would like nothing better for teachers to succeed in this mission. However, I firmly believe that parents ought to be in the driver's seat in making a choice about education, whether it be in public, private, or home schools.

Closer scrutiny of their core values causes me to pause.

We believe public education is the gateway to opportunity. All students have the human and civil right to a quality public education that develops their potential, independence, and character.

Education is the gateway to opportunity, period, end of story. A quality education ought to develop the character of each student. Every achievement flows out of character.

We believe public education is vital to building respect for the worth, dignity, and equality of every individual in our diverse society.

The result of an education that respects children as born persons, teaches them in their natural environment, trains good habits, and presents of living ideas will build respect for the worth, dignity, and equality of every individual.

We believe public education is the cornerstone of our republic. Public education provides individuals with the skills to be involved, informed, and engaged in our representative democracy.

Pardon me while I scream! Public schools were a rarity in most colonies at the foundation of our country. Most of the founders were educated at home by parents or tutors or attended private schools. Thus, those who built our representative democracy were involved, informed, and engaged without a public education. Research shows that adults who were home educated participate in local community service and vote and attend public meetings more frequently than does the general population.

There is more to the NEA's core values, but I need to get to the nut of this post. You can read it for yourself if you can stand it.

Here is the anti-homeschooling resolution (page 36) that the NEA renewed in 2006 after years and years of research documenting the success of homeschoolers. While I can understand the hesitancy of the NEA back in 1988, how many spelling bees do homeschoolers have to win for them to get the point?

B-75. Home Schooling The National Education Association believes that home schooling programs based on parental choice cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience. When home schooling occurs, students enrolled must meet all state curricular requirements, including the taking and passing of assessments to ensure adequate academic progress. Home schooling should be limited to the children of the immediate family, with all expenses being borne by the parents/guardians. Instruction should be by persons who are licensed by the appropriate state education licensure agency, and a curriculum approved by the state department of education should be used. (1988, 2006)

Sigh . . .

According to research, "the largest data set on the academic success of the home educated reveals positive things. 16,311 students from across the country were tested with the nationally normed Iowa Test of Basic Skills. The nationwide average for the homeschooled on the Basic Battery (i.e., reading, language, and math) was the 77th percentile. They were at the 79th percentile in reading, the 73rd in language, and the 73rd in math. (The national average is the 50th percentile.)" In a Canadian study on homeschooling, "students whose parents were certified teachers did no better than the other students." And, all of you parents of special need children, chin up:

Dr. Steven Duvall compared the academic engaged time (AET) and basic skill development of learning disabled students who were home educated to those in public school special education programs. Higher rates of AET and greater academic gains were made by the home educated. "... parents, even without special education training, provided powerful instructional environments at home..." (NHERI)

How about these factoids from the NHERI site and for more information, check out Home Educated and Now Adults:

• The home-educated typically score 15 to 30 percentile points above public-school students on standardized academic achievement tests.
• Homeschool students score above average on achievement tests regardless of their parents’ level of formal education or their family’s household income.
• Whether homeschool parents were ever certified teachers is not related to their children’s academic achievement.
• Degree of state control and regulation of homeschooling is not related to academic achievement.
• Home-educated students typically score above average on the SAT and ACT tests that colleges consider for admissions.
• Homeschool students are increasingly being actively recruited by colleges.

Are you steamed?

Some homeschoolers in Florida started a petition to present to the NEA in protest of their ridiculous resolution. They include a link to statistics supporting their petition. One word of caution: always beware of any petition you sign because you do not want to be caught looking foolish like the young ladies at Padua Academy who signed petitions to end women's suffrage.