Loa, the GF/CF Dog

Today, a gorgeous sunny day with a bit of a breeze going, Pamela, David, and I met up with the entire Jamberry and Habeeb crew (Sly, Jman, SB3). The only one missing in action was Steve, who was helping out Tammy's brother with a favor. The next time, Jamberry and her boys--all four--will stay with us so that we can talk without Pamela and Jman looking for an escape hatch from the chatty mommas (actually, they were both VERY patient). I loved holding SB3 and got to see the gamut of his emotions: placid, sleepy, hungry, poopy, and giggly. Yep, I saw him laugh, and he was sooooo cute.

I enjoyed talking to Jamberry and Habeeb, fellow boat schoolers. How often can you talk about the Dark Ages, going over the wall, getting fried, Storm Brother's ice cream, Annapolis' version of the Ho Chi Minh trail, women's glee club, itchy wool uniforms, peacoats, overcoats, and reefers? See what I mean! You don't have a clue what any of that means. Not even Steve, the 16-week wonder, knows what some of it means.



Before moving onto my dog, I wanted to address Penny's comment from Monday's post, asking if Bob's Red Mill withdrew their oats a few months back because of gluten contamination. I was not too worried because Pamela showed no signs of a reaction to the cookies or eating an entire bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. I emailed the company and, within 24 hours, they replied,

Our Gluten Free Oat products were withdrawn from the market for a few months because of a bad flavor and odor profile caused by the way they were processed. Our supplier has since updated their processing procedures and we now have a limited supply of Gluten-Free Steel Cut Oats.

Now, onto Loa, the GF/CF dog (the fawn colored one on the right) . . . ever since we moved to Carolina, we have struggled off and on with major skin problems. The first thing we treated was fleas, something unknown to her when we lived in Colorado, Alaska, and Minnesota. We got the fleas under control, but she continued to have unpredictable breakouts, which we thought might have been fleas. We got very aggressive with weekly flea shampoos and bimonthly treatments, but no change. The only thing that ever cleared her up were antibiotics and steroid shots, unhealthy for her in the long run. We even did the protocol recommended by the vet: Omega 3 oil, Benadryl, weekly baths with a special creme rinse, hot spray for new open sores, and dog food for sensitive skin. Even our most dedicated efforts failed. He finally told u$ Loa may re$pond to low-allergenic pre$cription diet.

Fortunately, what I learned with Pamela helped. At first, we tried Hills Prescription Diet canned z/d dog food. The vet prescribed antibiotics, but no steroids, so we could see the effect of the food sooner. She did very well for a week, so we bought more of the same plus Royal Canin's Potato and Duck dry dogfood. For two days, I caught Loa gnawing on rawhide and she had another breakout. Rawhide may cause allergic reactions, so we only let the healthy-as-a-horse dog chew them.

We started alternating between the two foods as a hedge against further food allergies. She got better and finished off the antibiotics. Last weekend, we ran out of Benadryl, and she had another breakout. I began to suspect the canned stuff, mainly because it had corn starch. I bought more Benadryl, so now we are doing the med and the corn-free potato and duck dogfood. If she stays clear for a week, then I test her with the canned dogfood with the corn starch for a test. I could go on and on with the variations I will have to do to isolate the culprit. Most of you know the process because you have done it with your autistic children. Happy, happy, joy, joy!

Sweet Moment in the Parking Lot of Walmart

After we checked out, Pamela and I were in the parking lot, walking to the car. We bumped into an acquaintance of mine and her little three-year-old boy. He attends my very short, in-the-spirit-of-Charlotte Mason music lesson for preschoolers every Sunday. He loves the drum and plays with a very steady rhythm. I told him that I missed him last Sunday, and his mother told me he had a stomach virus. Then, the coolest thing happened:

Pamela overheard the conversation and said rather stridently, "You're not sick!"

In my typical declarative response, I pointed to the boy and said, "He was sick on Sunday. But, you're not sick."

We reached their car and were winding up our conversation. Then, Pamela turned to me, pointed to him, and asked, "How does the boy feel?"

I told her, "I don't know. You could ask him a 'How do' question?" I scaffolded her syntax because I wanted her to succeed in this interaction with a total stranger (she has never met this little boy).

She looked at him, pointed, and asked, "How do you feel?"

Then, he looked up at her and said, "Fine!"

Then, his mom prompted him to say thanks, so Pamela thanked him. LOL. But, then when he waved good-bye to her, she waved back and said, "Bye!"

Isn't that sweet?

Conference? What Conference?

Skip to the end if you want to know more about this flashback to the '70s!

You may be wondering how the Charlotte Mason Conference went because I have remained absolutely silent. It was FANTASTIC but I have had so little downtime I have not been able to blog about it. I will blog it as soon as I find time to process and reflect!

Why so busy? I returned Saturday night (June 14) and got up for church Sunday morning. I spent the rest of the day relaxing and catching up with David and Pamela.

While we Steve and I were gone, David was man of the house and took care of watering the yard, plants, ferns, and trees and feeding the pets. Pamela stayed with my parents who live across the street and furnished delicious meals for David. Where was Steve? He was supposed to leave for Ecuador on a business trip the same day I left for the conference (June 10). His flight was canceled, and he ended up attending the meeting via video conference. Rather than confuse Pamela with a last minute change of plans, they never told her that he was still home. Confused yet? He flew to Guatemala on Friday (June 13) for a niece's wedding (June 14) while I was still in Boiling Springs.

Both of my parents observed how much better Pamela processes what they say and how well she participates in back and forth exchanges. My mother shared a wonderful story about Pamela that spotlights the power of episodic memory. As you already know, she does not like changes in schedule and will fuss (hence the reason for staying mum on Steve's change of plans). If I promise to take her to the store and have to change the plan to another day, she sometimes fusses and tells me, "You broke a promise." My mother went to the dentist and had promised to take Pamela to Wal-Mart. The dentist visit turned out to be more draining than Mom had anticipated. Mom came home with a poochie cheek and mouth full of gauze. She told Pamela that they would go to Wal-Mart the next day.

Normally, Pamela would cry and become flustered in a situation like that. However, she did not fuss; she did not complain; she did not talk back; she remained absolutely calm about this sudden and abrupt change of plans. I really think she reflected back to how miserable she was when she had her wisdom teeth removed a few years ago. Pamela took three weeks to get back to herself because she found it so traumatic. She still talks about the misery of it from time to time. I think she had sympathy for how my mother felt and let her desire to shop go without a peep.

So back to my crazy week! Sunday night (June 14), I wrote one lesson plan for VBS and spent three hours at church on Monday. I unpacked and managed a week's worth of laundry for the three of us for the rest of Monday. On Tuesday, the day Steve was supposed to come home, I spent only twenty minutes at jury duty because the defendants never appeared at traffic court. Steve called and alerted me to a sudden change of plans to fly to Chile for an important business meeting. He had no time to drive home and back, so I packed winter business clothes for him and Pamela and I drove the three hour round trip to the airport and watched Steve repack at baggage claim. Exciting, huh?

Tuesday night, a friend of a friend called to ask me about RDI (and I am happy to help any family get started on that journey) so I did not tackle Wednesday's VBS lesson plan until 10:30 Tuesday night. I apent another three hours at VBS and thoroughly enjoyed teaching the children on Wednesday then unpacked Steve's bags and did a week's worth of his laundry! I spent Thursday cleaning the house and meeting with the friend of a friend interested in RDI.

The kids and I finally got around to doing some academics on Friday when one of David's out-of-town friends came over to visit. Before I knew it, they sprung an impromptu sleepover on me, but I was fine with that. The next morning, I woke up at zero dark thirty to drive three hours one-way to a meeting with Dr. Gutstein, our consultant and other families--yes, it was worth the drive. Steve came home while I was out and, when I arrived home, I finally saw him after nearly two weeks apart! The next morning I woke up early to attend both services because our trio was singing Beautiful Savior. We relaxed but did squeeze in one of the RDI E-learning modules. Monday, we did some more academics, and I unpacked Steve's bag and cycled through more laundry (it is starting to sound monotonous).

Is this week any less busy? No, but I have great reasons why . . . my best friend from high school and her husband and 15 month-old daughter are vacationing in Charleston. We got together for typical touristy things like Fort Sumter and Cypress Gardens. I will blog more on that later . . . oh, yeah, and I am writing an article for ChildLightUSA's The Review due July 1 in between engagements.

P.S. Speaking of engagements, Pamela and I are going dress shopping for my niece's wedding. She wants all of her female cousins to play a role in the wedding, primarily bride's maids. As that would be too much for Pamela, she lovingly thought of a part for Pamela: hand out little brochures that explain the history of the beautiful, old chapel where the ceremony will take place. That way, Pamela can participate at a level that does not overwhelm her. She has not worn dresses in years so buying what I am calling a "Princess dress" is going to be quite an experience.

The Tam-Pam-Tallman-Jamberry-J-man-Sly Show

One reason why I love the Internet is the opportunity to meet kindred spirits. When you live in a town with a population just over 4,000, you find it hard to meet homeschoolers doing RDI, the association method, and living books with an autistic child, much less one who graduated from the boat school and married a naval officer. Today, the kids (Pam and Tallman) and I had the pleasure of meeting Jamberry and her crew (J-man and Sly). We met them at Swan Lake and spent a leisurely lunch at Burger King. As I have not clue if my camera has a timer, much less how to use it, I took a short video clip of the crew.


The map of the lake covered in rainwater fascinated Pamela. She kept running her finger through it and talking about floods. Sly discovered where the muscovy ducks hide from the tourists (under a very ancient magnolia tree). We also laughed at the disco duck, shaking his bootie for the camera.

We all had a great time. In typical fashion, Pamela and J-man quietly did their own thing. Jamberry and I talked non-stop when we weren't redirecting kids! Sly who has no older brother to rough house and Tallman who has always wanted a younger brother packed in male bonding in a few hours. I enjoyed being with someone who can order a gf/cf meal!

J-man fascinated me because he reminded me of Pamela at that age! Many times, when I meet children in the spectrum, they are very different from Pamela. J-man had that very sweet, gentle spirit--quiet, yet alert and watchful to everything happening around him. He flashed that warm-hearted smile several times and had a couple of giggle fests (Pamela giggled too when she was thinking of her favorite You-Tube videos). I did see one major difference: he communicated with his face, which Jamberry attributed to RDI (I believe her based upon our lone-ranger RDI experience). Many times, I could get an idea of his thoughts based upon his facial expressions.

Seven Bloggers and It!

That is the afghan I am crocheting for Steve. Eighteen skeins down and fourteen to go! The blanket should measure 75 inches by 90 inches when complete, and I have the scars to prove it (I keep my yarn tension tight). By the way, the afghan represents It for all you Five Children and It fans.

Rats! Mady tagged me because she tagged the first seven people to comment on her blog after she had decided to choose those unwilling and unknowing victims. I thought commenting was good netiquette . . . Here is my mission should I choose to accept it:

1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself.
3) Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4) Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Seven Facts You Don't Already Know about Me
1. I was born on an island (Japan) and have lived fourteen years of my life on islands in the Pacific and Atlantic. Maybe that is why I enjoy books like The Brendan Voyage and Kon-Tiki.

2. I am a Navy brat and former naval officer. The last time I counted I have moved at least thirty-three times.

3. I was THE top twenty-five percent of my graduating class (we had four seniors that year). We were the last senior class ever to graduate from that school.

4. I was the only person in my family to start and end my education at the same school: A. L. Bristol School at Argentia, Newfoundland, Canada. I attended Kindergarten for three months and promptly dropped out because of a move. I graduated in 1980.

5. Speaking of seven . . . my parents had seven children, a yours-mine-and-ours family. It was my flesh and blood sister who dumped a bowl of oatmeal on my head, not my step brothers.

6. Seven historical incidents I would have like to have seen in action: (1) a meeting of the Inklings, (2) a lesson for Helen Keller by Annie Sullivan, (3) Charlotte Mason delivering her homeschooling lectures, (4) Theodore Roosevelt romping with his kids in the White House, (5) William Wilberforce and William Pitt discussing politics, (6) Pa Ingalls telling the story of the pig and the sled, and (7) the performance of Handel's Messiah in which the King stood (just so I could find out why and preserve that tidbit for history).

7. Seven is an important number spiritually speaking. I am a spiritual mutt: my great, great grandparents were booted from a Holiness Pentecostal church for growing tobacco and taking their children to the county fair. My dad grew up Methodist; my mom, Lutheran (Missouri Synod). I was baptized by water immersion in a Baptist church, confirmed in the Lutheran church, and am married to a Roman Catholic. The bottom line for me is that I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior and He guides my life (when I let go of the reins).

My victims are fellow bloggers, both cloaked and uncloaked, who have helped me figure out RDI for Pamela. See what happens when you are nice to someone: Mary, Sonya, Nifferco, Queen Mum, Chef Penny, and my three cloaked amigas Poohder, Jamberry, and Kathy.

Yes, I can count! I tagged eight people because I could not in good conscience leave one of them out! So, what are you going to do, force me to live on an isolated island in the Aleutians? Too late! I've already been there, done that--TWICE!

Two RDI Incidents to Share

Jennifer's most righteous and spot-on rant would have made me spew on my beautiful new laptop screen had coffee been in my mouth. If you have a child with autism and had never had a close encounter of the worst kind with a complete stranger who supposedly knows more than you, consider yourself blessed. When Pamela was younger, I had my share of embarassing meltdown moments (like the time Pamela did the Indy 500 around the altar at church ten minutes before the service was to start). Today, we get odd looks and occasional knowing smiles because Pamela is much more comfortable in her skin and I am better at not placing her in extremis.

Jennifer reminded me of a recent incident at Wal-Mart. We were at the self-checkout again where we practice our RDI objectives and the clerk told me, "Wow! Your daughter has really made progress. I remember when you first started teaching her how to scan at the self-checkout." Can you believe a positive experience with a complete stranger?

Also, a few weeks ago our neighbors joyfully shared another incident. They are wonderful people and very encouraging of our efforts to homeschool our teens. The neighbor told me that Pamela was sitting on the back porch rocking. Pamela waved, greeted him, and said, "I'm waiting for my mom to go to Wal-Mart." Can you believe it? She *wanted* to engage in a brief conversation without any prompting. She just had to share that tidbit with the neighbor. Pamela is not one of those chatty kids who opens up to anyone. Six months ago, I would have had to pry that out of her in front of a neighbor.

Purple Parrots

Pamela enjoyed another awesome night at youth group on Sunday night. She was sitting in the room with other high schoolers, observing an object lesson. The teacher wrapped a fine thread around a student’s wrists. The student had extended her arms in front of her. Pamela took one look and said loudly, “You’re under arrest!” for the teen really did look like someone waiting to be cuffed. Everyone thought her comment funny, and people appreciate Pamela for her unique way of seeing a situation and speaking her mind.

After the lesson, the high schoolers were going to play a quick game that required two teams. The teacher selected the captains. Usually, Pamela and I— as her aide in social settings—are often picked last for two reasons: she is the new kid on the block and is the only homeschooled teen at our church, except for her brother. One of the team captains has only recently started attending youth. I was shocked that he picked Pamela as his second choice out of about twenty potential candidates. If the teacher put him up to it, it was not obvious for he did not act wishy-washy. He pointed to us and blurted out in his brash way, “I want you two on my team!” While we waited for the other captain to pick, he gave Pamela a high five.

Our team captain named us the purple parrots, had us huddle, and revved us up with a pep talk. We each put a hand in the center and chanted, “Purple parrots,” before heading out to the competition. In the relay race, a teammate must don yellow rub gloves (fingers and thumbs filled), clap once, and hand the gloves to the next person in line.

The purple parrots lost the relay, but we had the most spirit. The way in which the captain welcomed Pamela made me feel like a white dove had hoisted the colors of peace over our team. I will store that treasure in my heart for times when the world slaps us with a spirit of confusion rather than that of kindness.

Pretty in Pink

Youth Group was wonderful tonight. When the kids sat on big comfy couches arranged in a square, Pamela looked around and asked, "Where's Amy?" The other students looked at Amy in surprise because Pamela does not usually acknowledge anyone. Amy smiled and bobbed her head gently with attitude because she knew to be singled out by Pamela was special.

Every week, the class warms up with an affirmation exercise. A student draws the name of a boy and a girl in the class. Then they must come up with positive adjectives that describe the person to form an acronym of their name. When they drew Pamela's name, a little knot tied up my stomach. Outside of Amy, Pamela does not really interact much with the other kids, even though she faithfully attends Youth Group every Sunday night. We have only lived here for a little over a year, and, to people who were born and raised in this town, Pamela is still the new kid on the block, especially because we homeschool. I knew she had two allies, Amy and a girl who works as a paid ABA therapist for some autistic twins. I worried that silence and awkward pauses would fill the room as kids struggled to find affirming things to say about Pamela.

I was pleased with their efforts for even some of the more reticent boys came up with kind words to describe Pamela:

P - Pretty in pink, positive
A - Awesome
M - Magnificent
E - Excitable, excited
L - Lovable, lovely
A - Adorable

The pastor usually rewrites the affirmations neatly and posts them in the window that week. I promise to snap a picture on Wednesday and post it.

Snoopy Dancing in Carolina!

Pamela amazed me today! This morning, she rifled through my drawer, looking at wrapping paper. She folded a small piece around an extra copy of the book Stuart Little and announced her intention to give a present to Amy, one of my algebra students. What a sweet gesture! Amy, a fellow E.B. White fan, beamed when Pamela handed her the present when we met for algebra.

After algebra, my goal was to practice the A-Q/A-Q way of conversing. Before the speech session, I wrote the title "What's your favorite. . ." on a piece of paper and placed the words "year?" "color?" "food?" "month?" "season?" "book?" in a column. I instructed Amy to repeat back whatever questions Pamela asked, and I recorded their replies.

Pamela easily answered Amy's questions, but needed some help keeping the conversation going. I prompted her to continue with the next question in the column until we reached seasons. Amy replied, "My favorite season is winter because I like to ski in West Virginia." Suddenly, Pamela began asking very appropriate questions about that state, "Where's West Virginia?" followed by "Who's in West Virginia?" Amy does not know anyone in the mountain state, so I prompted Pamela to ask, "What's in West Virginia?" and Amy supplied the name of her favorite ski resort. When we reached the end of the list, Pamela smiled and said, "Goodbye!" for she was ready to head home. Ending the week on such a promising note tickled me to death!

Where's Betsy?

The personal description story about Betsy was a hit! Today, we got together, but only Amy came. Pamela waited five minutes before asking Amy, "Where's Betsy?" Amy explained that she was getting her eyes checked at the eye doctor.

I nearly fell off the sofa because usually Pamela does not seem to notice new acquaintances for a long time. Last spring, Pamela participated in a church musical. At the time, we had been faithfully going to services every Sunday for the previous six months. Our pastor directed the performance, and I never thought to remind Pamela of the pastor's name, which is in every single bulletin Sunday after Sunday. At the first rehearsal, Pamela wanted to know how long it would take, so she yelled, "Hey, woman! How many minutes?"

At that point, I wrote a Social Story about rehearsals and included Pastor Debra's name. Even reading her name several times was not enough. Pamela would come up with variations like "Abra Ca Debra" and "Ca Debra". She still is not solid on the pastor's name after all this time.

Today, Amy and Pamela played another round of animal riddle game. Amy totally stumped Pamela with a platypus. She went through every single animal in the Outback, except that odd-looking mammal.

Angels and Algebra

I am tutoring two students in Algebra II and dreamed up a terrific payment plan. At the end of every session, they spend 15 minutes practicing conversation skills with Pamela. This is one homeschooler's way of sneaking positive autism awareness into the school system!

As a child, Pamela struggled to converse due to syntactic aphasia. We tried Teach Me Language, but the book assumes that visual cues, drilling, and practice will develop social language. Such activities frustrated Pamela because she tripped over little words like articles, conjunctions, helping verbs, and prepositions, not to mention word order and tense. Clearly something more than autism affected her capacity for language.

Back in 2003, Steve's parents told us about an ABC segment featuring the association method. This very structured, highly sequential, multisensory way of teaching syntax is the key to helping Pamela learn syntax!

Teachers write stories targeting specific language objectives. Right now, we are covering personal description stories (see page 14) that focus on personal pronouns he and she. When I started tutoring the first student, whom I will call Amy, I wrote a personal description story, imported a picture of Amy, and treated it like a Social Story to provide Pamela information about Amy:

This is Amy. She is a musician. She can play a tambourine. She can sing. She can draw. She can go to school in Smalltown. Amy is sixteen-years old. She had a summer birthday. It was July 17. She has green eyes and black hair. She has short, straight hair. Amy can read. She likes Little House books and The Chronicles of Narnia. She likes animals. She likes lions, tigers, and cats. She likes elephants. She likes horses and dogs.

Another student, whom I will call Betsy, came to her first session last Monday. This time, I made up simple question cards written with syntax already mastered to assist Pamela in asking questions for a new acquaintance. I instructed Betsy to answer the question and repeat it back to Pamela, and they went back and forth. Pamela could understand Betsy and answer her with some prompting, but not as much as I had anticipated. Pamela did a fantastic job because this is the second time she had ever seen Betsy. She finds it difficult tuning into acquaintances.

During this conversation, I recorded Betsy's answers and wrote a story about Betsy and included a picture:

This is Betsy. She is an artist. She can shop. She can buy some paint and art supplies. She can ride horses. She can go to Smalltown High School. Betsy is fifteen-years old. She has a birthday next April. It will be April 4. She has blue eyes and red hair. She has thin hair. She has long, wavy hair. Betsy can read. She likes Oliver-Twist. Betsy likes animals. She likes cows and dogs. She likes horses.

Friends

If you are expecting a post about the television show Friends, leave now. Since 2001, we have evaded capture by programmed television delivered by cable, satellite, or even rabbit ears. I have no idea what people say around the water cooler, nor do I care!

We were recently discussing friendship on my email list, Aut-2B-Home. I felt a bit left out of the conversation because Pamela does not seem lonely. Unlike some high-functioning teens, she does not yearn for friends. She has not reached out beyond our social circle to make her own friend. She never longed for a bosom friend when we read Anne of Green Gables. I have often wondered why she has never expressed the desire for a friend, so I decided to investigate.

I did not want Pamela to think she was deficient by not having a friend, so I simply asked her, "Do you have any friends?" To my amazement, she answered, "Yes." Curious, I delved further, "Who is your friend?" She replied, "Loa", who is our gentle, slothful mutt. I asked her to list her friends, and her list included her father, her brother, her grandparents, and me.

Her sophisticated idea of friendship blew me away. In our peer-crazed culture, we restrict the concept of friendship to humans and people outside of the family circle. Pamela is more inclusive! The first three definitions of friend show that she is right on target in her perception of the meaning of that word. Pamela clearly shows regard and affection for the friends she listed. We all give her assistance and support in one way or another, and she supports us the best she can by keeping her room neat, helping us find keys, and bringing in the groceries. We are on good terms and are not hostile with one another! Pamela is much more advanced in her concept of friendship than we give her credit.