On Friday, we had a couple of power struggles where Pamela got angry at me. My strategies include:
- Stay calm. If I am calm, she has a greater chance of staying calm.
- Stop and spotlight my emotion. A year ago, she would not have even noticed. Now, she sees when I am upset.
- Make a command decision to scaffold by making the task a bit easier.
- Use body language and slower pace of speaking to spotlight what I am saying.
- Agree to her proposition if it fits my objective for the activity.
- Postpone her proposition until after she meets my objective for the activity.
- Remind her to breathe and use sensory calming.
The follow clips shows our missteps on the path of self-regulation.
8 comments:
Thank you for posting this!! It helps to see your strategies and to also know that we all have similiar difficulties with our kids. It can be SOOO hard to stay calm and regulated ourselves during their dysregulation, but HOW ELSE can they learn to stay regulated? Thanks again
Wow, what a wonderful teacher you are to Pamela. Thank you for this clip. Sincerely, dianeG.
Thanks, Tammy! I needed to see that!!!
It's so nice to learn that I'm not alone in hearing "NEVER"! he he
My favorite is when i get the "YOU'RE FIRED!" bit.
Nice Job Tammy!!
I love watching your video clips working at the table with Pamela. This reminds me so much of the work I do with Samuel and his reactions! Thank you for organizing these video clips so well, with your tasks and commentary highlighted beforehand.
I also hear, "You're fired!" from Samuel and now my 2 year old daughter is saying it to me as well!
That was excellent, Tammy! I agree with everyone else... it's so great to see this clip and how you handle it. I know it's hard to put the difficult moments out there for everyone to see, but you and Pamela come through it great! Thanks so much for sharing this teaching moment! Jennifer
Catch! I've flung some blog bling your way :smile:
http://leechbabe.blogspot.com/2008/03/o-holy-heatwave.html
Some great strategies there.
Putting this in context, the time I spent redirecting was three minutes out of thirty. That is a much higher rate that usual. Two contributing factors were that Steve (her dad) worked from home that day (upsetting the routine) and he spent ten minutes playing the drums (you cannot hear it on the recording because the drums are at the opposite end of the house).
Also, a gracious reader pointed out it could also be that I grabbed Pamela's pencil and it might be more effective to hold out my hand expectantly!
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